Like many, I grew up in a home where anger was normalized. I recall my dad saying, we were Irish and anger is just how we express ourselves. Which seemed to make sense at an early age. However, as I transitioned into being a young adult I learned that I was using anger in place of other healthy emotions.
Instead of feeling sadness or disappointment I my default emotion was anger.
Once I learned to recognize this was happening, I worked to become aware of what I was feeling and how my emotions I was feeling and expressing aligning with how I really felt. So instead of replacing sadness with anger I became more aware of my sadness or any other emotion I was feeling.
I learned that in between when something occurs and when I respond is a small space where we choose how we respond.
In this season though, I have noticed for me and many others anger is being easily expressed. For some, the loss of control results in a frustration that turns to anger. If you are like me, pay close attention to this in this season and examine how you are really feeling inside when you feel anger arise.
Most important for me is reminding myself of my need for Jesus. Jesus is better. Here is an example of what this has looked like for me…
This past week, I noticed I responded to my daughter in a way that was harsher than I could have or otherwise would have and noticed that anger was more close to the surface than it has been in past recent seasons. She was being silly and inappropriate, but my words were short and angry. I began to explore internally what was going on and became aware in that moment my emotions didn’t match how I actually felt in that moment. As I became aware of this, I came to her and apologized and stated that I was sorry I had responded angry in my words and tone but wasn’t really feeling that way and that is a reminder of my own need for Jesus. I need His patience, His kindness and His gentleness. We prayed together and invited Jesus into that moment with us.
Kudos to you for not only recognizing your faults, but going to your young daughter with them . This helps her to see you as human and understand that mistakes are acceptable. Way to go, dad!
Thank you Joy! As hard as it can be, admitting my mistakes has been so powerful. It’s humbling personally to do as well as pointing towards how Jesus can help us in our imperfections.